This is the shirt Bev is bringing me back from Lebowskifest. It was really tempting to get the Speed of Sound Tour shirt but only the hardcore Lebowski fans would get it.

Does anybody give a crap about the olympic games in Greece? I wouldn't be caught dead in one of these. I had it on in the background for a good part of the day and its just swiming, diving, more swiming, rowing, then more swiming.

Breaking News
At Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school math teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means of extremes, and sometimes they go off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are three sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

::Shoot me I like crappy puns::